You Should Not To Harm Your Father And Mother

God orders in the Koran not to harm a person’s parents, who were the means of his creation, but to treat them kindly and to speak to them nicely. He even tells not to rebuke them. Man should not leave his parents alone when they get older, he should look after them taking them to his home. (1)

Although God ordered to look after both of them, if he is not able to afford to look after both of them, he should choose his mother. (2) In this verse, it is obviously understood that God attaches great importance to mothers andwomen because women are weak and helpless. Her child should not let her beg in the streets as she had carried him in her womb for 9 months, cleaned and washed his dirt, she abandoned her sleeps for him and fed him with her body at least two or three years affectionately.

She also protected him from his father’s wrath and anger by preventing his father. Therefore, nobody can repay the mother. Our dear Prophet (a.s.v.) said: “**Paradise is under the feet of mothers.”** (3)

(1) See the Koran, Chapter Al-Isra, Verses: 23, 24

“If either or both of them attain old age in your dwelling, show no sign of impatience, nor rebuke them, but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and say “Lord, be merciful to them! They nursed me when I was an infant.”

(2) The Great Prophet answered the man who asked him which to serve more; father or mother: “To your mother, your mother, your mother, then to your father.”

From Zeyd b. Hakim and Abu Hurayra r.a.; Thirmizi and Hakim

(3) From Anas and Numan b. Basir, Nesei, İbn Mace, Müslim

See also Suyuti, Camiussağir, vol.2, p.309

A pure person does not treat any women badly as he does not his own mother. He thinks about the quality of motherhood in a woman and he considers all the women sacred with this quality. He respects this sacred quality in her.

A father takes his child under his control after he is seven years old. He protects him against several dangers in society. He looks after him and brings him up.

All the fathers are fond of their children (if they did not lose the quality of fatherhood). He certainly wants him to be well-educated, to be good-mannered and to have a job. He tries to give him a good education and a good profession, shortly he desires him to be a good person.

God commands a person to pray for his parents and to implore forgiveness from God with the words of Hz. Abraham. (4)

Our Great Prophet (a.s.v.) said: “El veledü sirri ebi- A child is the secret of his father.” (44)

     This sacred saying of Prophet has a deep, inner meaning (5) which can be solved by only those who comprehend the meaning in the sacred saying of God: **“My servant is My secret and I am also his secret.”** (6)

(3) See the Chapter Abraham, Verse 4: “Forgive me Lord and forgive my parents and all the faithful on the Day of Reckoning”.

(4) Mawlana, Masnawi, vol.6, p, 415

(5) A child represents the self of his father. The real meaning of Hz. Abraham’s sacrificing his son Isaac or Ishmael (a.s.) is Hz. Abraham sacrifices his own self to his Lord who is Compassionate. The reason why a father likes his son very much lies under the fact that he is a piece of him, he is himself because each self likes himself.

(6) Sirrul Esrar by Abdülkadir Geylani, trans, by A. Akçiçek, Rahmet Publ. 1968-İstanbul

God says in the Koran: “Do not associate partners to Me. Thank Me and your parents!” (Al-Nisa: 36, Al-An’am: 151)

In this verse, it is understood that God does not want to be attributed partners to Him (Because God is infinite and sole and He has no partners. This is a great reality.) God mentions thanking parents after thanking Himself. What we mean can be understood by the one who understands it!

So, God wants His servant to be very respectful and grateful to his parents after Himself because parents are the reasons of his life or the reasons of his existence.

A father has the qualities of educating and administrating which belong to God. “Eb-baba” in Arabic means the one who trains or educates. It means educator or trainer.

We hope that the meaning of the sacred sayings mentioned above: “A child is the secret of father.” and “My slave is My secret and I am also his secret.” (7) are explained briefly. This subject is about the mystery of Rububiyet (Divine Lordhood) so it is not permitted to explain it thoroughly.

These two sacred sayings have a very deep meaning but we do not want to explain it widely and deeply, as it is a mystical subject and contrary to the contents of this book. This matter has already been written in the book called“Existence” which we have written before and it will be explained openly in the books we are going to write afterwards.

We, consequently, indicate that Islam attaches great importance to parents and women and they should be treated very respectfully and looked after kindly. God and His Prophet (a.s.v.) attaches great importance to this matter.


(7) Sirrül Esrar by Sayyid Abdulkadir Gilani, Rahmet Publications, p.32 İstanbul

See also Gavsname-i Sayyid Abdulkadir Geylani